


A Grisly Crime Scene

by sabershadowkat



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 11:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4432979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabershadowkat/pseuds/sabershadowkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Challenge response. S/A(us), Giles's birthday, abuse of a character with a wine bottle and at least two of the following:<br/>sex while swinging from a chandelier, queue for toilet causing problems, spiderman costume, attempted murder with toilet paper, something nasty in the punch bowl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Grisly Crime Scene

I had seen many disgusting things in my time, but this, by far, took the cake.   
  


As I passed by the police officer guarding the door, the first thing I smelled was the blood. My hand immediately covered my mouth and nose as I tried not to wretch.   
  


Then I saw the bodies.   
  


Or rather, what's left of them.   
  


Toilet paper lined the floor, as if the murderer didn't want to cause a stain on the carpeting. The first thought that came to my mind was that perhaps Mr. Whipple got pissed off because someone squeezed the Charmin one too many times.   
  


The once white cottony-soft-for-sensitive-bottoms tissue was soaked red. I walked over to the crime scene photographer taking a picture of a severed head. A piece of toilet paper was wrapped tightly around the stub of what was once the girl's neck, as if the psycho who'd done it had tried to use the two-hundred-times-thicker, quilted sheets in an attempt to murder her.   
  


Of course, it was the broken bottle shoved into her face that probably did her in.   
  


"There's another head in the toilet bowl," the photographer commented as he put a ruler beside the girl's head. "Wearing a Spiderman mask."   
  


"That'll cause a clog," I muttered. A macabre sense of humor was the only thing that gets me through the job these days.   
  


"Hey, Jack, over here," one of the other detective's called to me.   
  


I walked over to him and he gestured to the floor. Two non-chopped, fully-naked bodies were lying entwined together. I could tell they're dead, but I had to ask anyway. "They dead?"   
  


"Yeah, good riddance," the detective sneered.   
  


Homophobic bastard.   
  


"So, Jack, what do you think happened?" the jerk asked.   
  


I couldn't help but look at the two men as I tried to wrap my mind around the puzzle of what happened at the house. One was dark and almost angelic-looking, and he seemed to be cradling the other man. An instant picture of their relationship formed in my mind. The bigger one was the protector, the dominator, the 'man,' as it were. The other man -- a bleached blond -- was leaner and more rough-around-the-edges, and I could see that he was the troublemaker, the risk-taker, the 'child' of the two.   
  


The picture they painted would have been more erotic if they hadn't been covered in blood.   
  


I looked away from the bodies and notice words scrawled across the wall, also in blood. _Happy Birthday, Giles_ , it read.   
  


"The murderer did this on purpose to get to this 'Giles' person," I surmised.   
  


"He's the owner of this house," the detective said.   
  


I raised my eyes higher and saw one of those false chandeliers, the kind that plug in. A pair of pigeons were going at it right there, making the light swing crazily. "The way the bodies are chopped up indicates the murderer was enjoying himself. This is probably not his first kill."   
  


I turned and started walking back across the room to where a hand was staked to the wall. The light pink nail polish and silver rings on slim, feminine fingers made my stomach twist. This was definitely the work of a sick individual.   
  


My eyes swept around the room as I turned back to face the other detective. "Ron, down!" I shouted as I drew my gun.   
  


The two men that had been entwined together on the floor had risen behind Ron, their faces twisted into my worst nightmares. Before I get a shot off, Ron's head was snapped and he fell to the floor.   
  


I fired once, twice, but they kept coming right at me. The photographer made a dash for the door and got tangled up with the officers trying to come in. I kept firing until my weapon was knocked out of my hand.   
  


Just before the darkness closed over me, the last thing I saw was a penis floating in the punch bowl.   
  
  
  


**End**


End file.
